Americans Hate Soccer

First, the Pro's and Con's


  • It makes more sense calling something Football since they use their foot. Versus our football which should be called something else, like Run-Pass-and-Tackle-Ball
  • It is apparently the "hardest" sport to play, given the constant running around
  • For poor kids in Africa it's a good sport cause all you need is a ball, or many plastic bags and the ability to tie quasi-hexagonal knotshomemade soccer ball, africa, plastic bags


  • Their offsides is dumb. Similar to offsides in hockey except replace the blue line with the defender closest to their end of the field. The problem with it is that it is always changing with the movement of the player, making it difficult for the referees. Also the whiny soccer defenders try to intentionally make players offsides by suddenly running forward. Rather then play defense, they reason that tricking an offensive player into being offsides is easier. Then they raise their hand to the ref's. Which leads me to my next con.
  • It reminds me a lot of the NBA when a player thinks he got fouled. There the player yells then flops to the court. In soccer the player looks to the referee and raises his hand. Then if the ref doesn't call the offsides or foul, no less then 4 players run up to him and scream in his face.
  • Crying. Whether to the ref's or just in general.
  • Utter bewilderment when they miss a shot. They react as if every shot they have ever taken on a goal has gone in and this one time is the first time they have ever missed. Most announcers say so-and-so AGONIZES after missing that goal. Well they sure act like it's agony. They usually put their hands on their head in some way.
soccer missed goal celebration, kia, hands on head
soccer, football missed goal celebration, hands on head
  • Faking injuries, almost dead, then being completely fine 10 seconds later.
soccer, football fake injury, ankle
  • The WORST thing about all of this is that kids watching this on tv think, well that's how the professionals act so i guess i should do it to. Thus continuing this acting, crying, whining in soccer.
  • Dirty players
dirty soccer players, dirty football players, headbutt
dirty soccer player, teen, girls soccer
And this little darling in the red is one of the dirtiest players ever. She's in college and is shown here pulling a girl to the ground using her ponytail.
dirtiest girl soccer player, college, red
dirty soccer player, pull hair, elbow
dirty football player, elbow in back
I do remember several year ago that the USA womens team won something. The world cup maybe?? I'm not sure what it was but it seemed important at the time. Everyone said that it would bring new life and revolution soccer in the USA. It didn't. Or maybe it did, i don't know, i don't pay attention to soccer.
USA world cup, women, goal celebration
The only people that like soccer in America are little kids under the ages of 12 and people who moved here from another country.

I mean it was kind of fun watching it last week and i was upset that they lost but i'll end up forgetting about it in a week. They tried putting American soccer on right after the match was over, something like Phillidelphia vs. Miami. I had no interest in watching so i turned it off.

Every 4 years we get fired up about the summer and winter olympics. But the US team could lose every game and never score a goal OR win every single game by 7 goals and still no one here would care.

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